I tried. I pushed. I fled. I failed.
The past three weeks have been complete mayhem. My life is already hectic and pandemonium, but when the ED thoughts came through, I believed that the issues were beginning to resurface. I began to write because it is the only genuine coping mechanism I have...but I gave in and let go. I purged tonight. It has been three years, and I just threw it all up - literally and figuratively.
I am not sure where to go from here. I do not want to exhaust my physical abilities with crying and moping and thinking. I just want to sleep. How could this happen? I was so full of life, and now I feel as though every ounce of blood has been drained from my body. Happiness seems to have spontaneously combust. Brain cells were left in a foreign area. Willingness and commitment have migrated. I am alone with my body and things are not looking too pretty right now.
Where do I go from here?
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